In May of 2010, The US News and World Report printed an article about the increase of head injuries in children as the economy worsened. The article indicated that there were twice as many emergency room head injuries documented as the economy became strained and unemployment rose. Certainly financial strain doesn’t directly cause child abuse, and not all the injuries seen were documented cases of child abuse, but unemployment and financial strain do impact a parent’s mindset, general hopefulness, and ability to not only provide for children financially, but emotionally. A parent’s ability to play with their child is a pretty good mental and family health indicator!
My sweetheart and I took a drive to southern Minnesota over the weekend, and meandered home by following the St. Croix River Valley. Stopping in the wealthier (relative to the Iron Range) Minnesota communities along the river we saw many families out bike riding, walking and generally enjoying time with their children. It struck me that despite the nearly 100 miles of bike trails in the more economically stressed Iron Range, I rarely see families out playing and biking with their children.
Play is healing, and the themes in a child’s play will show what a child is experiencing. When visiting a Head Start center some years ago, I watched a little girl play with a dollhouse, ‘dad’ doll, ‘mom’ doll, police car and an ambulance. The dad doll hit the mom, and the police and ambulance came and the mom went off in the ambulance. As she was playing she said “daddies hit mommies but mommies don’t hit.” Teachers said she had witnessed such a scene outside her home, and without intervention she may grow up believing what she said, and have low expectations for how she will be treated. With intervention, or even introducing a theme into her play where the mommy doll says no and gets away from the injury could be a healing play theme for the little girl.
Take ten minutes with a young child and give them the pick of some toys and just notice for a while. As you’re noticing, say out loud what you see such as “oh, the daddy is going to work,” or “you are pretending to be the daddy.” If you watch and observe and say out loud what you are observing, a young child feels important and increases their attention to what they are doing, because you are paying attention to it too!
Adults need time to play, too. When burdened by worry, concern and indecision, play is not only fun it is a healing and clarifying activity that can refresh the mind and bring new energy to a task or decision. So play while you work, and mostly--enjoy!
